Cool Addict

(via Violent Pillow)

Initially I got onto match.com for most the wrong reasons, the main ones being desperation and loneliness. And wow, match provided just what I was looking for. A whole bunch more desperate and lonely people looking for a moment of happiness. Those moments were usually at night and just for one night. Some I let last for two nights. But by that point I found plenty to dislike about “the one” and they turned into “another one”.

After 2 months I got a little pickier about my choices and I found “the one”. She was smart, very cute, amazing job, a lack of drama, and my friends even liked her. What more can a guy ask for? 3 weeks into it I discovered I could ask for an ex boyfriend of 4 years not to come back into the picture and propose. That’s what a guy should ask for anyway. Poof. My dream of being a house husband was gone again. And my theory that every girl comes with drama was revisited. Also, my friends proved that their approval could now not be trusted (even if they were right the 5 times before). Even they didn’t see this one backfiring on me.

Now I realize it was only a 3 week relationship, but I was crushed. I was taking it slow and being very religious about the physical aspect of our relationship. And God spited me for that. I might as well have touched to my heart’s delight as there was a time limit on how long I was going to be allowed to. So I stepped back on Match and found someone else to touch the next day. That’s right God, I will continue trying to beat you…

Now fast forward another month and a few more matches later…

A flight attendant that is willing to travel messages me. She’s fun. She’s cute. She’s nice. And the best part, the most she can be is a part time girlfriend until we both decide we want more. AWESOME. We email. We talk on the phone once a week. We text a lot. It’s so convenient. And did I mention awesome? Oh, did I mention the benefits of free travel? So we schedule a time for her to visit me 4 weeks later. What could go wrong? Well besides a huge number of things right when she steps off the airplane. But what ends up going wrong is a beautiful girl finds me on Match and we meet in the mean time. She’s “the one”.

So the beautiful girl and I go on a date. The date is great, dinner and a movie. This girl is extremely smart, even more beautiful, and basically perfect. I’m smitten in minutes. At the end of the movie she lets me know she is going to church (no longer perfect) in the morning so she has to jet at 10. While we walk to the cars we discuss a date for the next week. We get to my car and we go in for the hug and I get greedy and try to get a kiss. I end up hitting the cheek. It’s an awkward moment. I play it off. I’m not sure if she was looking. I think I’m still safe. What’s wrong with a peck on the cheek? It’s so much more harmless than me going for those amazing lips. But does she know that she just rejected me? God I hate not being able to read minds. She texts me on her way out, makes me think everything is ok. The next day there is little from her in the way of contact. The next day after that she cancels our date without the thought of rescheduling. Pwned. I just messed up a perfect opportunity (minus the church). Now I’m depressed. I don’t even think about flight attendant anymore. Who doesn’t want to date an ex model? I can’t remember the last time I was dumped (well I can but I was thanking the Lord when it happened because I was afraid of her and what she would do if I had done the breaking up myself earlier). I doubt this even counts as being dumped as it was just one date but still, the feeling is there.

All I can hope is that my claim to fame of not having feelings comes back and kicks out my depression before the flight attendant gets here by the end of the week. That and I hope my flight attendant doesn’t know about this site because she could be “the one”.

- Micah Miller

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